Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Birdie's SPED Evaluation & Eligibility

You may recall that back in May, I referred Birdie for special education services (<--see the post about this here) at school.  Although it wasn't fun, it was necessary, and Birdie was approved to be evaluated for services.

The series of evaluations began almost immediately, and for those of you with children that receive special services, you know how long this process can take.  Birdie was observed in the classroom, to get eyewitness accounts of her difficulties handling some of the "constructs of a typical learning environment".  She was evaluated by an educational diagnostician, who basically assesses and diagnoses learning difficulties of students, using a battery of tests and interviews.  Birdie was given a psyche evaluation, which is more tests and interviews.  I was interviewed.  Birdie's medical history was required, which included listing all Birdie's missed milestones, medical issues, and relatives with any sort of mental health issues.

Can you say "probed"?!  That's how you feel at the end of all this.  Probed.

Fortunately, I have been probed this way before.  It hurts a lot less the second time around.  This time it was familiar and predictable, and the language of Special Education and IEPs was not a foreign language anymore.  Much easier the second time.

That being said, let me offer up some friendly advice: Don't-- as in DO NOT-- read the reports generated by these evaluations.  At the very least, wait until just before you can discuss the reports with a trusted friend, OR you can discuss the reports with the people that made them.  Even knowing what all the clinical jargon meant, and expecting to get the Asperger's diagnosis we got for Birdie, I still wasn't ready for some of the nuances and intimations of the test results.  There were no shocking revelations in the reports I received-- no flooring or surprising info that wasn't previously on my mommy radar.  Every implication was expected.  BUT.  And there is always a but.  But I still freaked out after reading them.  


I freaked out a little.  I freaked out more than I would like to admit.  Okay, so I picked this mothertruckin' report apart when I got it.  I read it more than once or twice.


I did not like hearing all these things I already know about my child presented in such a clinically cold and impersonal way.  I wanted to put her into context.  I wanted to say "you don't know the whole story.  You don't know her.  You don't know us.  She does like people, she just can't show it well.  I KNOW SHE RELATES TO ME, DAMMIT!"  I mean, seriously-- no parent wants to see the words "Relations with Parents" on an emotional assessment at all, and especially not with a very low number beside it.  Especially not when that low number (and low isn't great, by the way) has an asterisk beside it.  And most especially not when you follow that little star down to the bottom of the report, where the footnote tells you said star indicates "at risk without intervention".  INTERVENTION, people.  What parent wouldn't freak out just a little when reading a report that contains "parents" and "INTERVENTION" in the same thought.  OMG, right?!  Why don't you just tell me I suck as a mom?  Couldn't tact be a part of the report?  (Obviously, this was the line item that most irritated me.)  


After I had some ice cream and wine and calmed down, I came to my senses.  I know this result is not unusual for kids on the spectrum-- most have trouble with any authority figure, and I happen to be one of the most prominent authority figures in Birdie's life.  It was an inevitable outcome really, and I can say that about myself and my girl.  Others saying these things-- welllll, as you can tell, mama ain't happy about that.  INTERVENTION, indeed.  Ahem. 

By the time I went into Birdie's eligibility meeting this morning, I was nervous, but completely in my right mind again about the reports and what they all really mean.  When we all sat down to discuss the results, I braced myself for any eventuality, but all the conclusions that I had come to after reading the reports were the same ones everyone else came to as well.  When the verdict was handed down, and Birdie was classified as having an Autism Spectrum Disorder, I was not surprised or upset, only relieved that she would be getting services.  Even more, everyone at the meeting was respectful, appreciative, and complimentary of Birdie.  I felt so overjoyed that this group of people knew Birdie as more than just a clinical report or case file.  All my craziness and worry was for nothing.  It is hard to remember as a parent, that these reports are written in a very objective way and leave out all "the good stuff" about your kid.  It's nice to know that even though it didn't make the report, the good stuff in Birdie wasn't overlooked.  


It's also nice that a "parental intervention" is not on the horizon.


So, not too far in my future lies an IEP development meeting.  The hard part is definitely over, and I can stop obsessing about reports and start looking forward to the best possible 3rd grade experience for Birdie.  I am so glad she is going to get what she needs.

13 comments:

  1. I was with you all the way my friend. Brought back memories. *shivering*

    You are exactly right about reports having to be very matter of fact and clinical. Not easy to remember when you're reading them though is it. I am so glad they saw Birdie as you did.

    It was around that time that I took a liking to martini's. =D

    Hang in there! D

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  2. Thank you for your support, Di. It is too easy to work myself up into a frenzy over the semantics of these reports. Thank goodness for friends who have been there and done that, ice cream, wine, and mommy's favorite smoothie (aka margaritas)! Whew!

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    1. It's pretty hard not to get worked up when it's to do with our kids. Riley needs to get a Psych-Ed assessment done this year to help with funding down the road. We've had some issues at school this past year so on the one hand I am hoping it will show R has more "challenges" than the school thinks yet it could show more than I think as well. Double-edged sword. Could be a very fattening September. LOL!

      DI

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  3. Wow! Bless you, you're strong though and handled it better than I would. After raising a "normal" daughter, ummm whatever normal is... and my son coming along not so "normal" I was already set back. When he was 20 months old and was sent for "evaluation" I watched as they played with him for about an hour and then they spoke to me nicely about the "differences" in him and a "normal" child, again whatever normal is... But when I got the report in writing, I couldn't help but wonder who wrote the report, it couldn't have been the same nice and caring therapist that had played with him and nicely explained everything to me... The language was harsh and I cried reading it although I think she pretty much told me everything in it. I hope I can handle the next one the way you did. Hmmm, I see a new favorite drink in my future. :)

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  4. I nominated you for a Liebster Award...check out my blog http://www.boogiesnbooboos.com/

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    1. Thank you so much!!! I appreciate your nod, and I am grateful. :)

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  5. My most dear friend, I nominated you for a Sunshine Blog Award. http://todaywiththetennerys.blogspot.com/2012/07/awww-sunshine-blog-award-for-me.html

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    1. Awww, Tricia-- thank you, honey! I appreciate this so much. I swear I will get my post out as *soon* as possible.

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  6. First, you are a GREAT mom! You daugters are blessed to have such a wonderful mother who advocates for them and appreciates the wonderful little girls they are. I have enjoyed getting to know them and watch them mature into the sweet, unique, fun loving girls they are. Second,I hate those reports too!! Keep advocating, I would love to be promoted to 3rd grade ;-)
    I also appreciate and look forward to the opportunity to get to know and work with the fantastic woman behind those 2 lovely ladies.
    See you soon.

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    1. Your comments mean so much to me, Dolores. You have been such a big part of Princess's success, and are one of the people that makes our little part of the public education system so wonderful for special needs students. I am soooo excited to be working along side you and the rest of our Special Education dept next year! What an opportunity and privilege-- and we are going to have so much fun, too! :)

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  7. I keep my son's report tucked far away inside a filing cabinet. I hate the report... I don't even feel like they evaluated the right kid.

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    1. I just tell myself these reports are a means to an end, and that they are written unclouded by emotion-- but they still suck!

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  8. Thanks for the insight on this- because I am going into Special Education next year, I feel like my life is going to revolve around these tests and reports and IEPs. I want to always reassure and remind my parents that it is only a report, and give encouragement regarding their child. Thanks for the reminder!

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