1. chicken chicken doo doo (n.)- the sound a train makes. This is my sister's all-time favorite re-definition. Just say it out loud-- you'll see. And you'll never make a train sound any other way, ever again. Chicken-chicken doooooo dooooooo! Chicken-chicken dooooo doooooooo!
2. bleep (n.)- a substitute for swearing; also used in the form bleeping. ex. I hate having to pick up my bleeping toys.
Birdie is especially fond of this one, especially once I got it through her head that "dammit" is inappropriate. Now when she gets frustrated or upset, she sounds like an episode of Maury Povich instead of a sailor... I'm not sure which is worse.
3. bleed (n.)- blood that has left your body through an open wound. ex. Mom, I have bleed on my shirt. I think I poked a hole in my bleeping nose with my bleeping finger.
4. blood shots (n.)- the event in which a needle is inserted in the arm and bleed is extracted. ex. Birdie to the hematologist: Get away from me, you demented vampiric devil, and take your dammit blood shots with you to hell where you live!!!! Please, someone SHOOT ME!
I die of embarassment every single time I see a needle heading toward my little "angels." Unfortunately, this horrible event is endured annually at Princess and Birdie's physicals. Everyone has assured me that it will get better as they get older. The only thing that has gotten better, so far, is Birdie's ability to insult the hematologist. How horrible must it be to be called names like vampire and demon woman for simply doing your job?! Maybe I can convince Birdie to bleep this little exchange. ("Get away from me, you bleeping bleeping bleep, and take your bleeping blood shots with you to bleep where you live." It just doesn't have the venom in it, huh?)
5. tail (n.)- male genitalia. ex. Daddy, why do you have a tail? Even better... Princess: Grandmaaaaa!!! RyRy is showing his tail! It is really gross!!
This little turn of phrase is particularly funny to me. When I was a kid, if someone was "showing their tail" they were misbehaving or acting a fool and might get in trouble. When Princess says it, you know someone is in trouble... and you feel compelled to cover her eyes.
6. bagel (n.)- the chubbiness around your bellybutton. When my girls were small, they LOVED mini bagels for snack. One day I asked them where all those bagels went. Princess pulled up her shirt, grabbed hold of her chubby tummy, making an "O" around her bellybutton, and said "there they are!" Needless to say, that little bit of cuteness stuck... we now enjoy "bagel-spotting" at the pool and mall.
7. Bundt cake (n.)- the term used when the chubbiness around your bellybutton is too big to be truthfully described as a bagel. ex. That's a nice Bundt cake you have there... did you have a baby?
8. Strawberry banana (n.)- an unusual variety of banana that has pale pink fruit and is used exclusively for making smoothies and yogurt. ex. Princess: I hate strawberries, but those Strawberry bananas make the best smoothies ever! They have an awfully silly name, though.
9. daddy's soda (n.)- this would be beer-- in a can. ex. Mommy buys milk, cookies, apples, and daddy's soda every time we go to the store. It is a really eye-opener when your two-year-old says this to you, by the way.
Other Random Re-definitions and Word Inventions:
10. interesting (adj.)- Princess's version of bleep, used as a substitute for negative adjectives like stupid, dumb, awful, or annoying. ex. You are the most interesting person I know. As she explained to me, she won't get in trouble for calling someone interesting because "everyone wants to be interesting, so they will never suspect my true meaning." Good luck with that, Princess.
11. practically vegetarian (n.)- someone whose diet consists mainly of vegetables and fruits. ex. Birdie: I am practically vegetarian, except for that portion of meat I have with every meal. Well, hell... with a definition like that, so am I!
12. street meat (n.)- deer roadkill, sometimes also referred to as "meat in the street". ex. Street meat is such a waste. Why couldn't that person shoot the deer instead of run over it, so that they could use the meat for food? (For you city folk, in North Carolina and Mississippi, deer is "the other red meat" and is consumed regularly. And it is de-li-cious!)
13. juggernauting (v.)- running with your head bent forward, fists balled up, jaw set, and feet stomping as you run with reckless abandon over everything that gets in your way (aka the way Princess runs). The term is derived from the comic book character Juggernaut, who is in the X-Men comics.
|Obviously not my drawing of Juggernaut|
The little girl at the end of this Best Buy commercial is a reasonable facsimile of juggernauting, but you really must see Princess do it to fully appreciate the terminology.
I have a feeling we won't be invited by Merriam-Webster to contribute these eloquent turns of phrase to their master publication anytime soon...
What words have been redefined by your family? Please share. :)