Friday, April 13, 2012

International House of Puh-leeze!!

Following on the heels of yesterday's torture appointment with my dentist, I left work today feeling exhausted.  I didn't feel bad today, but I found it hard to ingest sufficient calories without being slightly grossed out by the idea that food would get into gaping hole where my tooth once resided.  Everything I ate at work (aka grits and saltines) was carb-based and quickly left me wiped out.  Upon returning home from work I did something I never do-- I dozed off on the couch!

I was awakened by my darling Princess "gently" patting my arm and saying "Mom, I'm hungry.  What's going to be for dinner?"  Oh no!  What is going to be dinner tonight?!  

I certainly didn't feel like preparing food.  Nothing is worse than making dinner yourself and not feeling like eating it.  Or hearing your kids complain about your meal choice (which is always the case unless I make mac & cheese or clam chowder.)  I found myself fantasizing about a large plate of Mango & Habanaro hot wings and some of my very favorite Bavarian beer-- and then I remembered the canyon in my jaw.  Ugh!  Where could I find sufficiently mushy protein that would taste okay and not require lots of chewing?  Hmmm...

"Mom, I said I'm hungry!"  Gee, Princess, I guess I missed that the first six times you told me.  After the week my Princess and Birdie had at school-- both had some behavior mishaps that needed attention-- I shouldn't have said what came out of my mouth next.  "Let's go out for pancakes and eggs.  I'd love an omelet."  Normally, eating breakfast for dinner at a restaurant is a reward and requires, at the very least, not getting in trouble at school.  Not today, though.  Today, a trifling mother is all it takes to get a Funny Face pancake for dinner.

We arrived at the restaurant as the local geriatric brigade was starting to depart.  When I was awakened from my nap, I was so out of it I forgot to look at the clock.  All I could think about was keeping my girls on their meal schedule so that they'd be good for their daddy tomorrow (while I try to sneak out and watch Hunger Games).  Imagine my surprise when I realized it was only 5:10 p.m. 
Birdie looking sugared up, with lots of pancake left.

Look at those good manners!  You go, P!
As soon as we are seated, our server showed up and asked us what we wanted to drink.  Before he could even finish his sentence, Princess blurted out "Bring Mommy some coffee quick!  Puh-leeze!!  She needs it bad!"  That obvious, huh?  The girls ordered hot cocoa and chocolate chip pancakes and I got some pile of every breakfast food known to man (except pancakes) covered in hollandaise sauce.  Once the food arrived, very little was said by my ladies, except for the one time Birdie corrected the server about calling her a boy.  "Could you puh-leeze stop calling me a boy?  Yes, I have short hair.  Yes, I look androgynous.  (I swear she used that word!)  Yes, I AM A GIRL!  Not 'the little guy' or 'my man', for crying out loud!"  I think he got the message.

And what's with puh-leeze?  I don't say that... at least I don't think I do.

Thirty-five minutes after we arrived, my lovely ladies were completely cracked out on sugar for dinner. (This woman right here?!--  Not winning any Mother of the Year award today, at least not for nutrition.)  To top it all off, we were back at home ten minutes before I usually even serve dinner!  Oh, puh-leeze!  Now I just need to keep my fingers crossed that this doesn't come back to bite me in the Hunger Games tomorrow.


  1. Androgynous!!! Sheesh, that is a BIG word! LOL Good for her - gotta put people in their place! :-)

    Btw, next time you're at IHOP, ask for Lily - she's our favorite server, and is soooooo nice. Tell her Sammi and her parents sent you.

    1. I think Sammi is going to be the Mayor of Ashburn soon! Everyone knows her!! Yikes, androgynous ~ quite impressive, love it! Mary