Another week, another collection moments and musings.
*It is a terrible idea to let your child view your Pinterest account, especially if you have a wicked sense of humor. Let's just say I had some 'splainin to do-- and not do.
*We have a lot of hungry-looking women at our neighborhood pool. I would love to lock their skinny asses up in a Burger King for the weekend so they can gain a few pounds. It is not beautiful-- or healthy-- to be able to count your ribs simply by looking in the mirror.
*You know your dog has had loose bowels way too long when you catch yourself fist-pumping over the fact that he finally made a real turd, rather a puddle. Sorry, y'all, but it's true. And now all my neighbors that witnessed my little celebration are certain that I am every bit the freak that they suspected.
*An "afternoon delight" for a mom is sneaking in a quick nap and waking to find that the house is still standing and no one is bloody. Awesome, right?! See, you already want one, too.
*You know you have reached the pinnacle of motherhood when your kid asks you for a tissue in the car, and you tell her "Why don't you just use your shirt like you always do when we're at home?! What about this situation deserves a tissue more than the times when they are readily available?!" Harsh, I know... It's been a rough week, yo.
*My kids were pretty adamant about the fact that they would not eat a Southwestern-style salad, but they sure ate the heck out of some fajita chicken, served with corn and black beans over a bed of shredded Romaine. My re-branding skills just keep getting better and better.
*How completely inappropriate is it to laugh when your third grader asks a library volunteer (who looks every bit of 14) if he can help her find something written by Dante, and the volunteer replies, "Is that a new kid's author?" Yeah, that's what I thought, too.
Until next time...