This Week's Hairbrained Musings... (3)

*Some playground pick-up lines are very ineffective, such as "Look at this cool beetle!  He has serrated mandibles.  Those thing rock!!"  Shoving the "serrated mandibles" into the face of an unprepared child right after saying this (such as Birdie did on Playground Monday) almost led to one little boy crapping his underoos.

*The lady at Starbuck's does not like it when your kid asks for a scrap of paper, so that she can "write down her tip for the Tip Jar."  As a matter of fact, she seemed downright offended that an 8 year-old wanted to offer advice on coffee-making.

*Never, ever ask my kids "What do ya think?" about anything-- unless, of course, you've got all day or you like being frustrated, depending on which child you ask.

*People always feel the need to state the obvious.  For example, Princess followed me around Target for 20 minutes this week wailing at the top of her lungs.  At one point, a sales associate stopped me and said "You do know your little girl is crying, right?"  Gee, jackass-- I hadn't noticed.


*No one gives more advice about child-rearing than people that have never had kids.

*Somethings are better left unsaid-- but I'm going to say them anyway just to feel better.  Can't keep that venom pent up inside, now can we?

*Nothing is funnier than watching your bulldog run full-throttle as he makes his escape from the house, until you realize that you have catch him-- before he keels over from over-exertion (a 30 second sprint is a big deal to a bullie!).  The last time I saw our Buddy run that fast, I had accidentally dropped a pork chop on the kitchen floor!  (Don't worry-- he made it back alive!  He did need a 6 hour nap to recover, however.)


*Despite what you might think, it absolutely does not get funnier every time UPS guy leaves your package in the perfect spot to get run over!  Hubby is going to get tired of getting gifts with tire tread marks on them one day.

*Sam's Club on a Saturday is the perfect place for a free lunch.  Get those samples while they're hot!

*Shopping for Father's Day cards with your kids is soooo much funnier once they start understanding what the sarcastic cards mean-- and they pick those cards anyway!

Hope you and yours have a fabulous Father's Day!

Until next time...