|Princess and Birdie cheesing for the camera. Already, Birdie has the diva attitude down cold.|
Both of my children are absolutely certain they are destined to be stars. Princess knows her stardom will be the result of being a Princess, so she has nothing to prove. Birdie, on the other hand, is still searching for her claim to fame. She thinks she may be onto something with the school Talent Show.
Last week the girls brought home fliers announcing the upcoming school Talent Show. Princess immediately put hers in the recycling bin. Birdie read the flier and had stars in her eyes. Oh sweet lord, not again...
Last year Birdie participated in an After School Enrichment Program that taught some of the basics of hiphop dancing. The class met one hour a week for six weeks. At the end of this program, Birdie was a hiphop expert, to hear her tell it. (You come to a different conclusion when you see the video footage.) So proud of her newly acquired skills, Birdie wanted to enter the school Talent Show. I asked her to show me what she wanted to do. "I'm going to dance. What else do you need to know?" I wanted to know if she had a routine. "Nah, I'm just going to go where the music takes me." She gave me a demonstration. Well, I'd love to know where the music took her... so I can be sure not to go. Fortunately (or unfortunately?) for my friends and neighbors with children attending the same school, the Talent Show began after my darlings' bed time. I avoided that AFV moment. (I did, however, sign her up for regular dance classes this year, in hopes of improving her moving. The jury's still out on whether that has worked.)
|Musical Birdie-- the early years|
|Princess's musical aspirations, before the tiara|
This brings me back to my current problem...
This past Christmas, Birdie got a pink acoustic guitar from Santa and immediately began planning her musical debut in this year's Talent Show. Daddy Clause, what were you thinking?!!! Birdie decided that since she loved to sing but has a hard time singing the music on the radio, she'd just write her own music.
Oh yeah, happy times at my house.
For two solid months, I have had to perfect the art of keeping a straight face while listening to my doll's compositions. The presentation is just too much. Imagine, if you will, Birdie sitting on the floor with a very serious look on her face, holding her guitar with it's pink neck straight up in the air like a flag of surrender. She is delicately strumming one string-- the same string-- over and over while wandering completely off script through a stream-of-consciousness dialog that she calls a song. Just when you think you can't live another single second through this insanity, she stops, waits through a very pregnant pause, and announces "it's okay to applaud now. That was my masterpiece." Wow.
|Princess seen "supporting" her diva sister|
I think maybe Birdie picked up on my feigned love for her guitar talent. I don't know what could have given it away. Last week, though, she informed me that she has a new talent in mind-- one she is sure is unique only to her. *If you need to take a potty break, now's the time. Trust me on this.
Birdie told me she is going to recite the original-- and by that I mean "very first"-- haiku. In it's original Japanese. On stage. She explained that afterward, she plans to lead the audience in a discussion about the meaning of the poem and about the artform of haiku poetry in general. "I'm pretty sure no other elementary school students will be reading Japanese poetry," she boasted. Pret-ty sure you're right, kiddo. (I think she needs a talkshow on NPR instead of a captive audience of elementary school students and parents.) Apparently, the look on my and my husband's faces indicated this wasn't a good choice. "So you don't like the haiku idea, huh? How 'bout Dante's Inferno? I could read that in Greek."
She's just not going to get it, is she?
I think I'll just impose the bed time rule again...