"Holy Crap"-eteria, An Aspie Poem

Those that know a school aged kid on the spectrum probably know how overstimulating the school cafeteria can be.  Spectrum-y kids tend to have heightened senses, especially hearing, smell and sight, which makes a busy place like the lunchroom even more annoying to them than the average joe.  I mean, really-- do you like to eat in there?!  The cafeteria is particularly stressful for my Princess, and often leads to her imminent defeat on days when she is already having trouble behaving at school.  I thought I'd give you a little insight about how it feels to be an Aspie in the cafeteria, based on my Princess's plethora of complaints about eating lunch in there.  :)

"Holy Crap"-eteria

I walk into the lunchroom

and what smacks me in the face?

A wall of noise, bright lights, loud boys--

You want me to do what in this place?!!!

I head toward my class's table

past 200 students that I don't call friends

to sit too close to others to EAT?!!

The torture here never ends.

The room smells of canned vegetables

and very yeasty, doughy bread.

And worse, all the folks that work there

wear these hairnets on their heads.

I know those nets are for hygiene,

but secretly I am afraid

that the nets MUST be on their heads because

they found a hair on the pretzel braids.

All the lunch ladies seem to yell at me

as I'm going through the line for food.

I can't understand a word they say

and it makes me mad that they are so rude.

As I'm sitting at the table,

Wishing for more space in which to dine,

All I hear and see is the grossness of chewing-- UGH!

Suddenly, I can no longer contain my whine.

"THIS PLACE IS TOO MUCH!

ITS SMELLS AND NOISE AND SUCH!

I JUST CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE!"

And then like a flash,

With a bang and a crash,

I am racing out the cafeteria door.

After half an hour in such a stimulating place

Is it really such a surprise,

That when walking back to class, away from that hell

I am angry and have tears in my eyes?!!

Of all the problems that elementary school presents,

this is one that I never seem to master.

Maybe one day, not so far away,

The cafeteria will seem less of a disaster.

But until then, please try to understand

I'm not trying to be mean or unruly.

I'm just trying so hard to not feel overwhelmed

That I'm unable to be good-- truly.

So-- if you see a terrified or angry Aspie leaving the school lunchroom, please resist the urge to hug or touch them.  They are already overstimulated enough!  Instead, try to be understanding if they are talking too loud, or are intolerant of others-- they just need to decompress and get the ringing out of their ears.  The shouting in your general direction is nothing personal-- trust me! ;)