*Halloween these days has more T&A than Cinemax. I think there is a real potential for profits if Party City and Fredrick's of Hollywood would just merge into the same company-- they already sell many of the same products two month of every year. Hookers and college coeds around the world would rejoice!
*If you are too cool to wear a complete Halloween costume (aka you've made a paper mask out of the history test you failed and you are carrying a bodypillow pillowcase) or say "Trick-or-Treat" when I answer my door, then I am too big of a
*If you are old enough to drive to my house to Trick-or-Treat, you're too old to be here. It's called a convenience store, yo-- you can pick whatever you want there without depriving small kids of their fun or annoying the crap out of me. Again, I reiterate that Trick-or-Treating is for little children.
*Along the same lines, if you are old enough to have cleavage bursting out of your costume, or you have visible abs of steel, then you, too, are too old to Trick-or-Treat. Let's face it-- you're probably not going to eat that candy anyway, you just want to show off your rockin' bod to the neighborhood. Blech.
*I used to think pets in clothes were absolutely ridiculous. I still believe this, but man is it fun to dress up my bulldog. I only thought he couldn't look sillier.
*Nothing annoys me more than a kid who says, can you give me the ________ (insert specific type of candy here). I am giving you FREE CANDY, not choices. How about saying thank you instead?!
*Somehow, no matter how much candy I give away at my door on Halloween, I still end up with at least as much as I started with once the kids get home. I am starting to believe there is some provable law of physics involved here-- this happens too consistently to be chance.
*Now that Halloween is over, I am doing my part to fight childhood obesity-- I am eating my children's candy for them. It is the cross I bear.
Until next time...