Sunday, September 30, 2012

More Hairbrained Musings (15)

Another collection of moments and musings.  (Some of you may have noticed this is no longer a weekly post.  You may have also noticed my other posts are less frequent, too-- I didn't want my Musings to overtake my blog, so they will just begin to happen when they happen, but I doubt they will ever go completely away.  It's waaay too fun to vent!)

*To bathe or not to bathe should NEVER be the question.  When in doubt, err on the side of cleanliness.  Please.

Saturday, September 29, 2012

Rubber Pellet Gun... A Fantasy

Image from Christmas Story 2
Some days my kids-- and possibly your kids, too-- make me crazy.  We all have those days when our tolerance for all things b.s. go right in the crapper, and all we have left is our imaginations and divine intervention to keep us from losing our goop.  Many of us even have a secret fantasy that we play out in our heads to make the crazier days more tolerable.  And by secret fantasy, I mean we have a mental Calgon place, where things are calm and (insert favorite adult beverages here) flow like water.  On the really crazy days, though, my mental diversion isn't to an exotic locale.  Mine is a rubber pellet gun.  (I'll wait while you finish laughing at me.)  I have been threatening and joking about getting one for years, and I am sure it could solve all my most aggravating problems.  My sanity sometimes hinges on a couple of ounces of imaginary toy gun.  Are you worried yet?

If you aren't worried about me yet, you are about to be.

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Don't Be an Ass

We are all asses.  There-- I said it.  You.  Me.  Your mom and dad.  The President.  Mother Teresa.  Your priest.  Your mail carrier.  Your favorite elementary school teacher.  You name it-- no matter who you come up with, they are all asses, too.  Now why in the world am I calling you and everyone you know an ass?  Well, you've heard the old adage "don't judge a book by its cover", haven't you?  It's an adage for a reason:  Everyone, and I mean everyone, is guilty of looking at another human being and making assumptions about them based on what they see.  And you know what happens when you assume...

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Happy Campers

Shenandoah River State Park, with Massanutten Mountain in the distance

As I have mentioned several times before, my girls seem to find a sense of peace outdoors that they are unable to attain anywhere else.  Maybe it's the wide open spaces, the absence of crowds, or the fresh air.  Maybe it's the lack of blinking, dinging, flashing electric devices... whatever it is, my husband and I try to exploit this knowledge whenever we can.  We go hiking and geocaching quite a bit during warm weather.  On a couple of occasions, my husband has even taken the girls camping.

Sunday, September 16, 2012

What A Waste (previously published on

For those of you that missed it back in July, here is the article I wrote for Scary Mommy's Society page.  

If I've heard it once, I've heard it a thousand times.  It's the old one-two kiss-of-death combo that used to destroy my self-confidence.  A friend or acquaintance, thinking that she is paying me the highest of compliments, will say something like:

"It is such a waste that you don't have your teaching certificate/ haven't gone to grad school/ haven't gone to law school/ blah blah blah (pick one or all).  You could be doing so much more!

And there it is.

The remark starts off sounding like a compliment... but then its implications crash down around me like a rogue wave.  I have to face the fact that this person thinks: 1.) I have a big brain (yay, me!), and 2.) it's gathering dust.  Ouch.  Funny how something that I assume was intended as a compliment-- I refuse to believe otherwise-- ends up making me feel completely invalidated.  Or at least, it used to.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Affection- A Sensory Fairy Tale

Image from stockfresh
Not too long ago, in the kingdom of Autism, lived Princess Crazy, of the Crazy Train Crazies, and Birdie, her Not-A-Princess twin.  While ruling the land of Second Grade in Kingdom Autism, the lovely Princess Crazy was quite the stingy girl.  Where most all the other children in her kingdom were willing to hug and kiss and say hello, Princess Crazy would go out of her way to avoid activities such as these, deeming them an "invasion of her personal space".  *gasp*  Right up to the end of her reign in Second Grade, the princess would not bestow her love and affection on the grown-ups in her kingdom, with the exception of an elite few.  (Quite frankly, it seemed that most of the grown-ups that did receive Princess Crazy's hugs and kisses were grown ups upon which she depended for food, shelter, transportation, and good grades... but I digress.)

Sunday, September 9, 2012

This Week's Hairbrained Musings (14)

Another week of moments and musing...

*When a having a conversation with a country girl, and she says "Well, isn't that something?!", you may as well stop talking right then and there.  She either doesn't understand what you're talking about, or doesn't give a damn.  Either way, you are wasting your time.

Tuesday, September 4, 2012

Change is Good

So apparently, change is good!  I mean like, really good.  So good, in fact, that I am beginning to worry that I have somehow gotten off the Crazy Train and entered another, parallel universe, where my children are incredibly agreeable, and the happytime-to-meltdown ratio is much, much more favorable than I am accustomed to.  I keep waiting for the proverbial crap to hit the proverbial spinning blade, but so far no dice!  I am really digging living in this Twilight Zone!

Part of me is not 100% convinced that this fan we speak of isn't just pointed in someone else's direction during the school day, and that I am just happily outside the splatter zone.  I'm wondering, if that is the case, do I even care that my Utopian illusion is just an illusion?!

Saturday, September 1, 2012

This Week's Hairbrained Musings (13)

Another week of moments and musings.

*No matter how busy or active you think you were over the summer, nothing compares to the fatigue you feel at the end of each day during the first week of school!  The entire staff-- and most of the kids-- looked completely whipped when the final bell rang Friday.

*When I see the words "light" or "low-calorie" on a food package, I automatically assume that I should eat twice as much to feel satisfied.  FAIL.